When I first moved to London, everything felt so exciting and new. Now, almost 10 months later, it feels…different. Not worse, not better – just more like real life.
A few years ago, I did my first stint living overseas where I spent 10 months in Liverpool, England doing a study abroad program. I lived on campus, went to classes, and was just having the best time. I had savings and some financial support from my parents to cover my accommodation so money honestly wasn’t something I really thought about. I didn’t work while I was there and had the opportunity to go on little trips every few weeks.
It was amazing and I would not change it for the world. I met people who are some of my closest friends today, and I gained experiences and perspective that will stay with me for a lifetime.
I’m not the same person I was before that experience – I am more mature, more independent and more aware of what life on my own actually looks like.
So, after graduation, I booked a one-way ticket to London on a working holiday visa, ready to start my life abroad properly, and the rest is history.
The Excitement of Starting over
I was born and raised in Sydney – it’s my home, but it is also big, busy city. Because of that, I didn’t find London as confronting as I thought I would. I was so excited to just be here, starting this new chapter of my life.
London in the Summer is a whole different world and I loved it. I gave myself about a month to settle in, and spent this time exploring my new city – visiting parks and markets, just getting used to life in London, and enjoying the independence of having nowhere I needed to be.
I made new friends who pushed me out of my comfort zone, and within a month, I wouldn’t say I felt like an entirely new person, but a more confident and happier version of myself. It felt like the beginning of something I had been waiting for for years.
When it Starts to Feel Real
Before I left home, I was promised immediate job opportunities and housing through a working holiday program from Australia. It had its pros and cons – the biggest con being that the work they described ended up not being what I wanted to do.
After my ‘month of fun’ ended and I felt more settled into my flat in West London, things started to feel real, and not in a good way. It stopped feeling like the adventure that I had dreamed of and started feeling more real.
The admin of living alone is intense, and there are things no one tells you about – tax, registering for what feels like a hundred different things and the fact that everything costs more than you expect.
Things were just not going to plan. I was draining my savings which I thought would be more than enough to get me through two years here, because I expected to start work immediately. But five months in, I was running out of money fast and had to rely on my family back home to get by, which meant I felt like I had lost my independence.
There was so much job uncertainty and stress. I was living each day without work, counting every pound, and it got to the point where I was worrying about how I was going to afford my next meal or rent.
Loneliness
I’ve struggled with my mental health for years, but I have never felt as low as I did during this period. I felt so alone. I didn’t want to go out with friends because I didn’t have the money, and I felt like I couldn’t talk to my friends at home about it because they just didn’t understand.
I have relatives over here who have been incredible, but sometimes all you need is your mum, your brother or grandparents sitting there with you, telling you everything will be okay…
I honestly felt like there was no end in sight…Every day felt the same. And I was on the verge of giving up and going back home.
I still kept in contact with the initial friends I made when I lived in East London, and I saw them fairly often, but I struggled so much to make any friends in West London which only made the loneliness worse.
I missed home so much and I found myself crying more than I ever had, regretting the decision to do this, and feeling completely unprepared.
It wasn’t one bad day – it was weeks of feeling stuck on a rollercoaster that wouldn’t end.
What I Didn’t Realise At The Time
Then one day in November, I was feeling so hopeless. I hadn’t worked at all during my time in London from July to November, and I was absolutely desperate.
That morning, I had just had a conversation with my mum that honestly broke me. I was on the phone, what felt like on the verge of a panic attack, and she asked me at what point are you going to give up your flat and move in with my relatives who live outside of London.
In that moment, I felt everything slipping away – my independence, my ability to travel, and everything I had come here to do. I knew I had to do something. I was determined for my time in London not to end like that.
So, I spent the entire day researching reputable side hustles that I could do while I waited for a job opportunity.
I found a few options and started working on them immediately, and within a few weeks I was earning a small income, something that I had built for myself because I didn’t give up.
Around the same time, I also found a temporary full-time job that ended up lasting for a few months. That’s when things started to shift for me.
I was finally able to be independent and fully self-sufficient again. I started experiencing small wins – being able to afford rent, or saying yes to plans with friends – and it had such a positive impact on my mental health.
All of these setbacks honestly gave me a perspective on money and desperation that I never wanted for myself. But truthfully, I am a more resilient and stronger person now having had gone through those trials.
Where I am Now (10 Months Later)
Honestly, the last 10 months have been some of the hardest for me mentally in a very long time.
My life now is nowhere near perfect. I’m still trying to find my next job after my last contract ended about a month ago, but I feel more grounded and more able to go through this time of unemployment, knowing that I’ve spent time building up side hustles so I’m not relying on just one source of income.
I’m definitely not flushed with cash, and I’m not financially stable, but mentally I feel so much better than I did a few months ago. I love my life in London now, and whilst I’m still frequently homesick (and think about going home more times than I’d like to admit), I am doing better.
I’m proud of myself for getting through almost a full year away from home, and I know I’m stronger because of it.
I don’t think I have fully ‘settled’ yet, despite being here for nearly a year. But I am starting to understand what feeling settled and secure means. And for now, that feels like enough for me.
In my last post about restarting my blog in 2026, I talked about starting again, well this is what it actually looked like.
If you’ve ever moved abroad or felt like you’re still trying to settle into your new life, I’d love to hear all about your experiences 🤍
Talk soon,
-Soph xx
