One of the hardest things about being an adult is trying to balance what you want to do with what you know you have to do.
Everyone talks about “work/life balance” like it’s something we should have figured out by now, but no one really tells you how to achieve it.
I have been told time and time again that I need to get a work/life balance, but I honestly have no idea how people do it.
When Everything Feels Important
For context, I originally, I wrote this post two years ago when I was struggling with university and after my university messed up transferring my credits from my study abroad, to my home university, they told me I wouldn’t be able to graduate.
Now, given that, I have known university stress before but the fear of not knowing if graduation will be possible is a stress I was not aware existed, especially after working so hard for so many years to achieve it, only to see it slipping away in front of me. Even at university when I was trying to balance, work, study and this blog, but even then it felt impossible which is why something always suffered.
Life now is hard, as I have mentioned in my previous posts, I have recently moved to London and it’s taken me a while to settle. And now even though I feel settled, I guess, I still feel seriously overwhelmed. There is so much pressure from myself, my family and society to know exactly what to do with my life and to have a job that pays well, go out with friends, explore and travel but how do I still do this and prioritise things that I love.
Everything just feels too essential to who I am to give up any of it.
I am going to try to paint a picture of all of the things in my life that I feel are essential vs things I want to dedicate time to, it looks something like this:
I know I NEED to be focused on finding a job that pays the bills, no matter if I enjoy it or not. I have to be aware of adult things like taxes, and my health and remembering to update my glasses prescription, or get a checkup at the dentist or GP.
But what I WANT to do is I want to write. I want to quit my search of finding a job and become a freelance writer, whether that be for a mental health journal, or for a travel website. I want to have time to read new books and watch movies, which are two of my biggest hobbies but I have barely done since the start of 2026.
It is so easy to feel overwhelmed when this is what I am trying to balance.
Want vs Have to
Rather than a work/life balance, I have been attempting to balance what I want to be doing vs what I know I have to do, and that has been a tough one.
I know we have all been in the same situation at some point in our lives when there is a lot of important things we have to do, whether that be for work or for university or school but we just can’t seem to motivate ourselves to do it, despite how important we know it is.
I have found myself spending so much time over the last few months sitting at my computer planning posts rather than actually writing them because of the guilt I feel about dedicating time and energy to writing, which is not something that can make me money in the short term. I know that I need to be focusing on finding a job but sometimes it feels impossible to do both.
Adult responsibilities just feel too all-consuming, especially at the moment where I live ‘alone’ and away from my family in Australia so every little thing is suddenly my responsibility. Like at home it was so much easier and I didn’t even realise it. I knew when tax time came around, my family would be dealing with it as well so we can help each other. The cooking would be done mostly by my mum but if she wasn’t cooking that day, I know the kitchen would be fully stocked (for the most part). Now on top of finding a job, and trying to find time/energy to write, I also have to do these mundane household tasks that take time and energy and whilst aren’t the key components in the want vs have to columns, they are definite essential responsibilities that you can’t neglect.
Why is it so hard for us all to balance what we want and have to do?
Why It’s So Hard to Get it Right
Time management is something that we are taught from a young age, all throughout high school when teachers work through study schedules and plans for completing assignments and exams. Why then is it that when we are adults and know these strategies are important for our sanity, that we just can’t seem to actually utilise them?
When I was researching for this post about what helps create a work/life balance, the websites were saying things like set boundaries, have down time, both by yourself and with family and friends, which is all good advice but my question is how do we do all of this?
I have found that the way one person copes with stress would be so different when compared to the way I cope, especially when considering the different circumstances for the imbalance. People have different things going on in their lives so it’s hard sometimes to relate to other people’s struggles. The truth is, what they are trying to balance is most likely completely different to what you are trying to balance which is why online advice doesn’t always feel helpful.
The Reality
I bet you are hoping that after this long rant of a post, and it being one of the first posts on this new blog, that I would end with some words of wisdom and ways that I have figured out how to have this balance. But unfortunately, I have not.
So, after all of this thinking and research I have not come to a conclusion on how to have this balance, because I have not achieved it yet.
Maybe balance isn’t something that can be achieved only once. Maybe it is a matter of balancing some aspects of your life and trying to reduce the load over all. Circumstances change, and therefore, we change and we adapt.
What I am Trying Instead
My short-term plan is to use this time while I am not working wisely, so theoretically, my schedule will be relatively free for the next week at least. So, in this free time, I will develop a plan for my writing that hopefully I will be consistent with for long enough that when I inevitably add on a new job it will not seem like I am tackling two full time jobs, but rather a way to pay the bills, and my passion.
If I were to re-write this post 6 months from now, my ‘want to do’s’ and ‘have to do’s’ will be drastically different, that is just how life works, so I think it’s important to know that what I am feeling now with the crippling stress, is not permanent. So, if I can make one change in my life to prioritise something that makes me happy, surely that can be enough for now?
If you have any advice for me, or for others about things you have done in your own life when balance seems impossible, I would love to hear about it in the comments below.
Hopefully you will hear from me soon, if I manage to stick to a schedule 🤞
Talk soon,
-Soph xx
